Day Seven, Chapter Seven
(1 minute, 56 seconds) I feel like I'm definitely at the point of no return here. Most people I know don't think I can go the whole 117 days. I have to. I can't let this book defeat me. This chapter, which introduces first-person narrator, Detective Lindsay Boxer, is filled with some truly choice lines. I would like to share some with you now:
I'd just stepped into the elevator when, damn it, my cell phone buzzed.
It's the insertion of phrases like "damn it" or "freakin'" throughout this that make the whole tone sound so freakin' amateurish. Who writes like that? If someone were telling you a story - like a first-person narrator is - would they say things like, "So I was walking down the street when, damn it, my cell phone buzzed"? No.
"Lindsay, my head's spinning off my neck. Can you meet me at McBain's? Like, now?
That's Yuki, by the way, calling Lindsay. She's upset because the women jurors in her trial think Jo-Jo is "cute and stupid." They "looked at him...like they wanted to breast-feed him." Wow.
I'd promised him shrimp pomodoro tonight, and I was looking forward to the whole deal: the cooking, the supping, the afterglow.
This last one is my favorite, simply for how it reads when taken out of context. Lindsay gets a call from her boss, Jacobi, about a double homicide (presumably the woman & baby from Chapter 2) which she tries to dodge working until she realizes that Jacobi sounds "freaked out, like someone had walked over his grave." A tad dramatic, but what're you gonna do?
Go to Day Eight.