Day One, Chapter One:
I enter the project with some trepidation - can I in fact read this whole thing? Do I have time in my life to read this crap, even for comedic purposes? Even worse, will I be able to find something to write about for every single chapter? I mean, even at an average of 3.034188 pages per chapter, it's still pretty time consuming. Will my brain die as a result?
The first "chapter" is actually part of a three-chapter, 9-page prologue - Patterson is already behind the Seth Marko Eight-Ball here, as I truly despise the unnecessary use of the prologue in fiction - where we find Sarah Wells trying to break into the home of Casey & Marcus Dowling. As she's making an attempt at pilfering their jewelry cabinet, someone walks into the adjoining room and she hides, "a thief in the night". Some choice pieces:
- Good timing, Sarah thought. In fact, perfect.
- She noted the console table to her left, which was loaded with whatnots.
- It was cra-zzzy. Casey Dowling owned all of this.
- She paused to study a particular ring in its own leather case, to marvel at the frickin' wonder of it...
What will happen next?